These views are not...

nessacarily those of this writer or anyone at all!! I was bored and feeling a bit ornery, and decided to visit a website I heard about from a similarly bored co-worker. It is called www.givemeadollar.com. It seems the guy was planning on giving half the proceeeds to charity (lame) and worse yet, I wanted it to be my domain, but obviously some other greedy asshole already took it. So I wrote him an abrasive and offensive letter. For your entertainment, here is the letter in its entirety:

I say "FUCK CHARITY!!". I would give you a dollar, but since you are a stupid hippie who wants to help people who are too dumb to start their own give me a dollar website, you can fuck off. Are you fucking retarded, or what? Why don't you just spend the money on drugs and hookers like a normal person would. Or if for some strange reason you don't do drugs or cheap booze whores, you could spend it on cars, or pay your fucking rent with it. Mabye you are a mormon or something, in which case you should spend the money on a shotgun and some cheap ammo and blow your brains out. Trust me, life without a cup of coffee in the morning and a pint of beer at night is not one which is worth living.

Please, let natural selection run its course, and stop giving to charity. You are an asshole and I hate you. Please just be a greedy, selfish bastard like your typical american is and keep the money for yourself, and buy a 2 dollar flag sticker for your car made by chinese child labor slaves if you want to make it seem like you are doing something for your stupid country. If you really feel like giving, buy a beer or a pack of smokes for a less fortunate friend of yours. Or if you really do not want the money, flush it down the toilet after you wipe your ass with it. That would certianly make me feel a lot better than giving it to some smelly ass bums, or sick people who are just going to spend their lives increasing the cost of medical care for the rest of us, when they are going to die anyway. Just spend the money dude, trust me, its the right thing to do.

So whaddaya think? Just kidding. I really don't give a fuck what you think!! You don't like it, then eat a dick! Unless you like eating dicks, in that case eat something else you would not otherwise stick in your mouth. Like dynamite, or cyanide.

I love you all, have a nice day!