Cool + More Cool = Totally Bitchin'

COMING SOON TO OWEN'S WONDERFUL WORLD OF MANIC PSYCHOSIS:

1) Pictures of awesome stuff AND things!

2) Superior links!

3) NUDITY!

4) Regular updates. Maybe even ONCE A WEEK! WHOLY SHIT!

5) Ultra-kick-ass layout. So ultra-kick ass that you will be thrown into a jealous fit, feeling the need to come to my house, kill my babies and rape my puppies.

6) But then you find out I have no babies or puppies, so your head explodes, permanently staining my carpet and totally grossing me out.

7) Sick and twisted banner ads!

8) Witty T-shirts!

9) Sexy pictures of me!

10) Me being WAY cooler than Scanzilla.

11) A sexier guest book where you can leave me love notes and other comments about my large, throbbing phallus.

Yes, that's right beeatches, I am taking the plunge and going gold. This is thanks to Arlette (in the future you will be able to click on these names and find out who the hell they are) who found an awesome image to turn into a totally rad page for me. Arlette really does rock! Prepare to enjoy my diary even more than you already do! Once construction is finished, you may actually like my diary A LITTLE TINY BIT! Instead of vomiting all over your poor keyboard when just thinking of reading this worthless gibberish, you may actually be able to view the page and only become SLIGHTLY NAUSEATED! Keep your eyes peeled, because it is going to be ultra-mega-bitchin'!

Love,

Owen Ray

"The only thing that sustains one through life is the consciousness of the immense inferiority of everybody else."

- Oscar Wilde