The idiot box is off. Fuck you TV.

2005-03-27 12:59 a.m. - previous / next

Today I made a very difficult decision that my well change my life forever. I am going to watch less television. Sure, you may have expected me to say that I am going to take up religion, quit raping goats or do some charity work, but that is because you are stupid. Don't worry, it is a lifelong condition and one of the side effects is that you will never, ever realize how retarded you are. Fucking great. Now that I have explained how stupid some of you may be, I have to spell check this whole fucking entry so you do not come back and say "well, you misspelled retard you brain dead, goat fucking assface. Who is the stupid one now, asshole!!" Ok, ok back to the subject at hand.
I have decided to watch less, even close to no television because I recently realized that it was ruining my life. Since I moved into this tiny ass apartment I have probably soaked up more TV retardation radiation than I have in the past five years. The main reason for this sudden increase in boob-tube suckling is that I cannot escape its draw in this little roach hole we live in. I can see the damn thing from almost anywhere in this little hovel and sitting on my ass and watching three consecutive hours of "Law and Order" suddenly seems like a good idea. Fuck, I used to HATE TV, and now it has got me by the goddamn balls. Once I realized that I was a TV junkie and soon I would be on the street with all of the other homeless, drug-addled fucks that live in my neighborhood, I knew something had to be done. Today, I put a blanket over the TV. No fucking kidding, I had to unplug the evil retard box and COVER IT in order to stop watching it for a while. Really, look.

See, that is proof that the TV must have somehow got into my blood or implanted something in my brain to make me watch it. I can only resist it if I cannot see the son of a bitch. Once the evil device was covered, I saw what a mess my life has become. I have gained a bunch of weight because the TV told me not to go to the gym and to sit in front of it and stuff my face full of the unhealthiest crap I could find at the liquor store across the street. I have fallen WAY behind in school because I have been spending four or more hour per night watching worthless shit on TV when I would normally be studying. And let me tell you, I sure as hell feel a little stupider than I did last November. Ugh, TV is worse than crack, let me tell you. Today, after covering the evil box, I cleaned up the fucking house, did some laundry and went back to the gym. I am dedicated to wean myself from the idiot box and go back to living a somewhat active and productive life. FUCK YOU TV!!! I FUCKING HATE YOU! I CAN LIVE WITHOUT YOU. I might just disconnect the cable you fucking dirty bastard. How do you like that, huh? Huh? I can't hear you bitch. That�s right. Because you are not on and I will not turn you on. You will not make me stupid TV, not me, not until I am 50 and life is not worth living anyway. Then I will come back to you. Till then, I am going outside or something.

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