Happy Happy Joy Joy

I understand that there are millions of fans out there that have been craving yet another psychotic update. Drooling and shaking, wondering what my next innovative use of "fuck" will be. Adjective? Verb? Adverb? Something more? The most rabid devotees are conjuring up stories of my horrifying death that hurt many but surprised no one. Some will say I committed suicide. Others will certainly think it was some sort of accident, out of my hands, but well deserved. The remainder are trying to figure out how I accidentally committed suicide. Part accident, part recklessness and all stupidity. Certainly that is what would cause my demise, but none of the above has occurred, and that is exactly why I have not updated for some time.

Nothing spectacularly shitty has happened. I am sorry to disappoint you all, but things are going quite well and I have not done anything noteworthily retarded in at least a month. Well, nothing I am going to put on the Internet for the police to find about at least. Fuck that. Or I forgot about it. What the fuck ever, things are well for a change.

San Francisco is great. I love the lack of sunshine and drizzly fog that constantly cloaks my beach-frontish neighborhood. I should be pumping out lots of great emo songs any time now. My house is pretty rad and I only want to slice my roommates throats and fill their bleeding esophagus�s with drain-o occasionally. They are easy enough to avoid and they know better than to bother me while I am hiding out in my room in order to avoid having their faces splashed with the bucket of phosphoric acid that I keep next to my bed just for such occasions. And the possibility of encountering some sort of lewd sexual act occurring on my floor probably also helps keep the doors shut.

Then there is Holly. I cannot believe things are going so well and that we make each other so happy. Ok, I believe it and I am just in awe and really enjoying it. I will not expose you all to the sappiness that is best kept between us, but she just gives me a buzz in my chest that cannot well be described with words. So I will not even try, and I will just say that it is wonderful to be in love with her. Being happy for a change is pretty fucking cool.

We have also started drinking a bit less so we can enjoy each other�s company while seeing straight, and so that she can go back to the gym and I can ride my bike again. Kinda hard to do that stuff when you think you�re going to die from a hangover. Not that soaking your gray matter in delicious fizzy beverages is not fun, but there are consequences to be dealt with: it is just better for us to slow it down a little bit before she gets fired and my liver cuts its way out and runs away again. Those goddamn things are really expensive and the ones you buy at the butchers counter only work for about two days. Yes, I know that hacking them out of a live house pet and installing them while warm is the best way to go, but the neighbors are getting a little pissed off about continually finding their fidos and fluffys limping and liverless.

For everyone who is crying about his or her own pathetic lives because I do not have some horrifyingly stupid tale to tell to make your miserable existence seem bearable, you may like to know that I am still unemployed. Feel better? Yea, I bet you have a job don�t you. Thought so. However, I should start my ultra low pay work/study job at SFSU�s financial aid office sometime after the 18th of the month. It will not pay much, but they are one of the few employers that will work around a tight full-time school schedule such as mine and it should pay enough to keep smokes in my pocket and beer in the fridge. My legal battle (DUI) is still not over and the outcome will not be known until August 23, 2004. I will be sure to reveal all of the juicy details right here on these black pages.

Until then you will have to just go back to your usual routines of scouring the Internet for new horsie porn and new scat videos. I wish you the worst my electronic friends. Have fun out there.