The end is near.
It is Wednesday night and a certain feeling of relief has just washed over me. No, it is not because I just had a particularly refreshing bowel movement, or drank an ice-cold beer after a hard days' work. Although I did in fact perform both of those activities in the last five minutes, and I really enjoyed the pooping and the beer, they are not the source of this satisfaction.
Today, I have finished my last paper of this academic quarter. Two presentations have been presented. Three research papers have been half-heartedly (although good enough for an A) researched and written. The last of my midterm exams have been returned adorning big, shiny fucking A's and "great work, Owen"s. (By the way, I do not know why they call them all mid-terms when some occur on the second to last week of the fucking quarter. Dumb assholes.)
All I have left this quarter is 4 final exams. The first one, for my biology class is of no concern because all of the tests so far have apparently been designed with the consideration that there may be about 35 retarded four-year-olds with skull fractures and oozing head wounds taking the test, and they should be able to get at least a B-. I may not even study for that one. The second one is for my philosophy class, which is a take-home final. Ok, this class was already moving at a snails pace because half of the class were victims of having their brains replaced with damp, moldy hair, and now, a take home final. Not only did I get some virtually effortless A's on all of the exams, we only covered 6 chapters, for fucks sake. No projects, no papers, no presentations, no homework. Could it be any easier? Sure they could have not held the class at all and given everyone but me F's. All in all it was a pretty informative class, but it could have been more informative if I had not accidentally enrolled in the special-ed section. Fuck, I just love community college classes sometimes. Third, is the American Indian Worldviews final. It may be a bit tricky and I will have to study for several hours, but I should be ok. Math final...Uhh just thinking about it makes me poo my pants a little. I am a little sketchy on that one. If I fail, I am going to have to poke my eyeballs out with ballpoint pens and hang myself by my balls with fishing line. Lets just hope I pass, ok?
Overall, this kicks so much ass because I only have one quarter left at De Anza College after this, and I will be moving on to San Francisco State University. AND, I GET TO LIVE IN SAN FRANCISCO! That is totally not at my dad's house. Fucking-a that sounds rad. I plan on moving in July. I want July to be right now. NOW DAMMIT. Ok, screaming did not work. Guess I will have to just suffer through 10 more weeks of community college hell. And Hope I survive a summer vacation of liver torture living in San Francisco. It should be neato.
Half of being smart is knowing what you are dumb at.