Job? What job?

After two months of totally kicking ass and impressing the hell out of everyone at my new job, I'm getting fucking laid off. Yes, that's correct folks, I getting canned. Again. Apparently I am doing too good of a job selling my ass off here. See, I work at this storage facility, and since I have started we have leased a record number of units. Coincidence? I think the fuck not. I GOT SKILLS BABY! WOOT! However, my help is not appreciated. They are letting me go because my pansy ass district manager does not like the fact that I can only work weekends during the school year. This would seem reasonable if it weren't for the fact that I fucking told them this before I started. All of a sudden it is like the first time they have heard of this situation. This faggot (and I only call him this because he is gay, not that he is a bad guy or anything) asks me if there was some kind of "communication breakdown" when I was discussing my avialibility. Why, yes there was. Its called "you weren't fucking listening," apparently. The funny thing is that the working on weekends thing is ok with my store manager, and she has been putting up quite a fight to keep me here. However, fairy boy does not think that will work out. Oh well. I guess I will have to go back to artificially inseminating turkeys for a living again.

I suppose this time off from work will help free up some time for me to get off my fat ass and lose some weight. I have mysteriously put on like 20 pounds in the last three months, and it is becoming difficult for me to install my pants in the morning. Ok, so it not a mystery. I have been doing too much of the old sitting on my ass and getting drunk thing, and apparently it is not beneficial for the waistline. It is beginning to look like I am getting too old to stay nice and thin while I sit on my duff all day eating cheetos and pounding brews. Who would have guessed? Well, I should probably get back to doing the job that I am not going to have in two weeks so they don't fire me before then.

People always say "Life is too short." They are wrong. Start smoking and drinking before its too late to make your life shorter.