unemployment and SEX SEX SEX!
It has now been about month or so since I lost my job, and being poor is really starting to suck. Ok, it always sucked, but the suckiness of it all is becoming a bit more acute as the days pass. If I did not still live with my dad (which is pretty sad in itself) I would certianly be selling crack or partaking in some other glorious profession such as working at McDonalds by now. Paying your own rent and food bills adds a certain sense of urgency to a job hunt, but so does the utterly pitiful feeling you get having to ask your dad for lunch money when you are twenty-fucking-five years old. It is cool that the resourse is there (dad) but it totally sucks dirty dog ass having to use it. Good thing the economy is totally in the shitter, that really helps the job finding thing a lot. Kinda like nails help keep air in your tire.
With all of this job needing desperation comes drastic measures. Well one drastic measure anyway. I, I, stopped smoking pot. Shit, ever time I say that, I can't believe the words are coming out of my mouth. At least its a hell of a lot easier than quitting smoking (cigarettes). Putting down the Marbies is about as easy as giving up breathing, or taking shits. I have not burned a joint, pipe, roach or rezin ball since saturday, and quite frankly I don't really care. In the past month or two I was beginning to feel a little on the retarded side anyway. For example, I misplaced my keys for the 100 millionth time this month, and guess where I found em. No not in my hand. Nope, not my pocket. Not in the bathroom, the refrigerator, the freezer, under the bed, in my goats ass or any of the usual places I find them. The were in the fucking recycling bin out at the curb, ready to disappear forever. Fortunatley, after a frantically panicked search of the house, I went outside to have a smoke and gather my senses. Then, as I glanced out at the curb I saw the garbage bins I had put out earlier that night. The I looked away and thought "If you were a braindead and drooling retard, where would you put your keys?" "Probably on top of the newspapers that were on the kitchen table, which you threw in the recycling bin, dumbdick." So, after i did a little dupster diving I once again was in possession of my keys. Yea, that helped me a little in my decsion to put down the reefer for a bit. Thank cigarettes. You saved my ass for once.
As for more of the horrors of being poor, Allie and I will be celebrating (or not celebrating should I say) our one year anniversary. Although It feels really good to be with someone for that long and still love them with every little piece of your heart, It totally makes me feel like a schmuck not being able to take her out for dinner or something. I know its all about love, but I would really rather show her my undying love over an expensive dinner at a favorite resturaunt. Its a tough life being jobless, I tell ya.
On a more positive note, (shit my house burning down would be on a more positive note) Allie and I had the hottest sex known to man last night. And I mean HOT HOT HOT. For the year we have been together, both of us have been having the best sex we ever had, but last night was like fucking explosive. While we were getting dinner at good ole La Victoria, Allie kept whispering in my ear "I wanna fuck you" "Im REALLY horny" etc. I though she was screwing around. Then we get out of my truck and she is groping me and moaning in my ears, and I was like, shit is this for real? Uhh HELL FUCK YEA IT WAS! We got in her room and clothes started flying, and there was passion in the air. I will spare you the most graphic details (sorry Fellowalken) but we fucked and fucked HARD. Like the kind of hard pounding that usually get you things like "ouch, ouch, too deep, what the hell are you doing" kinda hard. I have never seen two people so into sex in my whole life. We both had such mind blowing orgasams that I thought greenpeace would get pissed off for us contibuting to global warming. I thought for sure the great pleasure would be follwed up with the horror of broken condoms too, but the son of a bitch actually held up. Thanks lifestyles, you rule. Last night was the greatest.
And thanks Allie you rule too. Thanks for making this the best year of my life. Not just the sex, but everthing else wonderful that goes with being your man. Before I found you I thought all women were evil, nasty and not to be trusted. I dont care if the rest of them are, beacuse I have the one I want. Happy first Allie. I love you.