Bloody knuckles and cussword pie

2002-12-14 10:17 a.m. - previous / next

And god said on the 12th week of the fall quarter "LET THERE BE SLACKING" Well, obviously my Explorer was not listening. The heater decided to give up the other day, making me cold and angry, so I checked up on to see if anyone has had similar problems. Whaddaya know, it is quite popular for the climate control to either be stuck in the AC or heat only position on the ole exploder. And it turns out, in order to fix this wonderous problem, you have to remove the heater plenum. If anyone out there is any kind of mechanic, you know that taking a heater box out of a vehicle is about the worst fucking project you can ever take on. It is about as fun as pulling your own teeth, or do-it-yourself castration. Have you ever stubbed your toe in the morning? You know how hoplessly pissed off you get when that happens? Imagine being that pissed off, bent over backwards yanking shit out from under the dashboard of your car or truck for two days. It is fucking misarable. I cant wait to get started. This actually involves taking everything out of the front half of the passenger compartment short of the fucking seats. You must remove: steering column, console, radio, dashboard, heater hoses,airbags, tons of other crap and the 16,000 pieces of hardware that holds all that shit on. I will make sure to lose at least 60 screws and nuts in the process. Sure, I would rather clamp my nuts in a hot vise than do this myself, but it costs over 1000 dollars to have some other poor sap do this shit for you. I would much rather spend the 1000 dollars on beer, pot, and lots of band-aids. I plan on losing at least two pints of blood in the course of performing this repair. It seems that auto manufacturers sharpen everthing behind the dash to ginsu-like sharpness, as to protect the components from being examined by Russian spys who are trying to steal the trade secrets behind poorly made climate control components. (Or curious mechanics wondering WHY THEIR FUCKING HEATER ISNT WORKING ON A 4 YEAR OLD TRUCK!!!!) Its like trying to take apart a land mine filled with broken beer bottles, or mabye jumping into a swimming pool filled with hypoderminc needles. You are pretty much gauranteed to bleed heavily and often.

All in all I am really glad school is out, and I may go snowboarding soon, but this impending project is really going to dampen my out-of-school-and-drinking-every-night spirit for awhile. I will post a new entry on monday or tuesday to piss and moan some more about my retarded ass explorer.

I am starting to wish I had never learned to work on cars... Ignorance really is bliss...

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